“SCHHHHLURP”
Today I encountered one of the most irritating people I’ve ever known. I made my (loltri-yearly) visit to the dentist and upon getting there on time, was expectedly looked down upon by the receptionist who didn’t seem to grasp the fact that I am useless with financial jargon. She wasn’t the annoying one though (well, she was, but she’s not the subject of this molten vat of anger).
I was told to take a seat and wait. Yes, after getting there on time I have to wait around twenty minutes before they realise what’s going on. After sitting there for about five or ten minutes, a family of four walks in - a toddler who must’ve been about three or four, a guy with an afro, a girl who looks as if she has the IQ of a bacon butty, and a mother who looks like she belongs in the trenches. After they’d annoyed me for a little while, I was told the dentist was ready. “Hooray” I thought, getting my teeth cleaned and whatnot before having an X-ray and being told to wait again.
Here the doom began.
I hear a slurping noise coming from the blob of idiots. I assume it’s the toddler being a faggot as usual and dismiss it as regular baby-rage. The slurping continues in intervals of around five to fifteen seconds. Rage overwhelming.
The toddler then waddles over to the people sitting next to me with a book of some sort. I avoid eye contact in case they decide to start a ‘conversation’ consisting of various gurgles and and slurred words because they’ve got illiterate parents who seemingly never got much further past the same stage. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t the toddler making the slurping noises. It was the fucking guy.
At first I thought he might be making noises for the baby, but why would he when it was clearly occupied? I then thought he might have some sort of swallowing problem, but then he had a drink. If you can’t see the annoyance this caused, imagine someone eating noisily for half an hour at double the volume.
What the fuck is going on? WHY MUST YOU SUBJECT ME TO THESE THINGS, LIFE?
I’m fairly certain I would hang myself if I had to live with that family.